


The Price of Memory

by NeverJustBusiness



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, PTSD, Polyamory, human!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-02-20
Packaged: 2018-01-13 04:17:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1212370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverJustBusiness/pseuds/NeverJustBusiness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willem and Matthew have history, so where does Ludwig fit in here?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Price of Memory

**Author's Note:**

> I SHOULD HAVE BEEN STUDYING THEN THIS HAPPENED IM NOT SORRY

_‘Night terror. Come home NOW’_

That’s all the text read.

Willem was up, dressed and almost out the door in seconds. Which is, of course, when Batari awoke and sat up, sheet falling to her waist. 

“Where are you going?” Willem’s mouth went dry.

“Uh. Things. Happening… I think… Matt. RIGHT. Matt! Have to go!”

Usually, a man who finds himself with an eyeful of completely naked Indonesian beauty would stay, would tarry until morning, taking his fill of what she had to give. Usually, he would…

Her glare at his back almost itched as he booked it out and away

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Hurt_

_Alone?_

_Alone_

_HurtpainsufferburnPAINPAINPAIN_

_Rope wrists blood ache burnburnburn rope tied stuck_

_Deserve this deserve it deserve deserve pain deserve alone alone alone ALONE_

_ALONE_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ludwig knew the price of memory better than most. He understood that dreams can turn into nightmares and nightmares can turn into terrors, all with the right application of memory. He knew how to pull himself from his own head, from the sins of his past. What he didn’t know, though, was how to pull someone else out.

At first, it was the shaking. Starting as just tremors, they built into full-body shocks that rolled through Matthew’s smaller body like tidal waves. Really, it’s how he knew that this was not going to be a normal nightmare. The shaking was not new. 

The screaming was.

Piercing, soul-rending shrieks would be a more accurate term. Alternating between those and racking, strangled sobs of “no no no more please no,” Matt was working his voice hoarse and Ludwig couldn’t find it in himself to be unhappy about that.

He tried everything. Holding him tighter, singing, lullabies, begging, pleading, affirmations that he is loved he is safe he will never be hurt like that again just please please come back mattie schatzi my angel please stop crying. Some of it worked for a little. Some made it worse. 

He didn’t know what to do and he was going to lose his mind.

Long arms wrapped around Matthew, snaking between Ludwig and the Canadian’s shivering body. He knew those arms, even if he couldn’t see who they belonged to from where he was buried in Matt’s hair.

As if by magic, Matthew calmed. The screaming stopped. The shaking shifted into shivers and the sobbing slowed to whimpers. 

Ludwig would almost be offended if he wasn’t so exhausted. He knew Willem’s touch was what Matt needed… Knew it all along, really. Suddenly, he felt useless, surplus, unable to calm Matt down like Willem could. 

“… How…”

Willem’s face was drawn, solemn in the shake of his head, even as Matthew turned and buried his face in Wil’s shoulder and chest. The scars that danced on his shoulders glittered in the dim light.

“I pulled him out of there, Ludwig. I was there. I was the one to hold him when they shot that fucker dead. Trust me. Whatever you think is happening in his head, it’s at least ten times worse….” Willem never talks about this. Matthew doesn’t either. This is… this is new. And humbling. And suddenly very lonely.

Something must have shown on his face because Willem sighed and scooted both himself and Matthew closer to Ludwig, sandwiching Matt between them.

“He loves you. A lot. Look, it’s weird as fuck just being in this… whatever it is with you after the fuckery you’ve pulled… but it works and even you know that.”

“Yes, because you’re a whore.” That got a laugh. 

“Don’t hate the game, son.”

“I’m older than you.”

“Whatever. Anyways. This…” Willem motions between the three of them and Ludwig can’t help but chuckle. Three years and the dumb Dutch bastard still can’t call it like it is, “… thing… It works. It works because he loves you and I tolerate you.”

“Liar.”

“Fuck you.”

“Gladly.” That shut him up for a second.

“I hate you.”

“You really don’t. Anyways, Matthew.”

“Yes, Matthew. I pulled him out of the dungeon. I stayed with him in the hospital. He wouldn’t stop screaming until the nurses doped him up well and good, which doesn’t always stick. The only thing that calmed him down was being held. It really did figure.” An empty laugh.” What’s the one thing he would have never gotten from anyone pretty much ever?”

“Contact?”

“He got more of that than he ever should have. No… Affection. Gentleness. Kindness. None of that, from anyone without sick, twisted fine print,“ That did not make sense. At all.

“But… but he’s...”

“The gentlest, kindest, best person either of us have ever met in our sorry lives? Funny, that. The best I can do to explain that is to say we all break differently. Anyways, being held, especially by me, calmed him right down. I guess he just associates me with being freed from that place.”

Willem gave Matthew one last squeeze before somewhat ‘handing him over’ to Ludwig, as much as was possible in the small space between them. Even as he turned Matt back over to face Ludwig, Willem kept a hand on Matt’s arm.

“I’m about to talk feelings so if any of this is repeated, I’m neutering you.” Typical.

“German’s honor.”

“You say that like you all have any. Well… the fact of the matter is that I… I do care about him… Stop laughing at me. It’s true. I do care… but… just not the way he does about me. I’m pretty sure I’m physically incapable of feeling the way he does about me for anyone. That’s why he has you, to treat him the way he should be treated and to love him right back just as much as he does you. And he does love you. I was just there when he got free, that’s all.” 

That’s all. Like pulling Matthew from that tower of terror wasn’t a task worthy of Hercules. 

Ludwig can’t really find it in himself to be overly bitter anymore, knowing what he does now. 

He feels the bed shift and bolts out a hand to take Willem’s. 

“Stay. With us.” There was a lot more in those words and Ludwig prays Willem gets it. 

A smile cracks over Wil’s lips and Ludwig knows he does.

“Yeah. With you.”


End file.
